Write On! Forums
Welcome to the forums, WOTeen!

Opening of my very first novel (for laughs)

View previous topic View next topic Go down

Opening of my very first novel (for laughs)

Post  Maggie on Wed Apr 13, 2011 1:25 pm

I thought I'd humble myself and show you where my writing journey started. I was 10 years old, madly inspired by someone else's writing, and thus this novel, Through The Gates of Montyl Crune, was born. Enjoy. And you can totally make fun of me. Very Happy

Note: I've left the spelling and punctuation exactly as I wrote it. xP

---------

As 14 year old Elisabeth Harold neatly washed cherry's for a cobbler for that, night she was dreaming about her father (James Harold) who was far away working for a month at a farmer's house. She missed him terribly. All this was in her head and she didn't even hear her Brother Ned calling from the orchard.

Ned was her brother he had Nut-brown hair and green eyes and was 15 years old. He had a strong passion for out doors, she loved him dearly and would not let him go for a moment. Now to get to the main character Elisabeth had nut-brown hair and hazel eyes. And like her brother, she also loved nature.

Now they had a sister Margaret she was only a month old. They lived near a small town called "Cherry Grove". The Harold's had a large cherry orchard and it was already bursting with cherries.

There mother, charlotte Harold had said:

"there will be no cherry wasting this year" for the year before they had done nothing with there cherries and they went bad. So this year there mother was very busy all day preserving cherries and Elisabeth and Ned had to help. Elisabeth was now getting a cobbler ready for that night when Ned came in from the orchard.

----

Ok, I'll spare you any more. xD I had a style of punctuation and capitalization all my own (how cool to have Nut-brown hair versus nut-brown!) and it seems like I had never been introduced to the word 'their'. Wink

Anyway, I thought I'd share. Being a writer is a journey and I've loved every minute of it! Very Happy

________________________________________
"If I fall asleep with a pen in my hand, don't remove it - I might be writing in my dreams." ~Terri Guillemets

--Maggie--
blog - twitter - facebook
[You must be registered and logged in to see this link.]
avatar
Maggie
Level 5
Level 5

Posts : 1802
Join date : 2011-01-29
Age : 23

http://writeonteens.blogspot.com

Back to top Go down

Re: Opening of my very first novel (for laughs)

Post  Sarah on Wed Apr 13, 2011 2:47 pm

LOL, this made me smile Very Happy. You know, for a ten year old this is pretty good! And even back then you still loved to name people Elisabeth haha. I love how you put her father (James Harold) in parenthesis next to it Smile. I wrote a short story when I was ten once too, I might dig it up now Smile
avatar
Sarah
Level 5
Level 5

Posts : 905
Join date : 2011-02-07
Age : 21

Back to top Go down

Re: Opening of my very first novel (for laughs)

Post  Renée on Wed Apr 13, 2011 2:59 pm

I count seven mentions of cherries. Very Happy Your "Now to get to the main character" cracked me up. It reminded me of an assignment I wrote with a very strong narrator voice where I said,

"I went to the casle. Did I ever menchen the casle? Well, there was a casle. Well enouph about the casle."

The assignment was on a picture book of Poinsettia the Pig, and we had to come up with an alternate ending. I made her story mostly consist of a dream of "Lolly Jolly Land", so I could have more creative freedom. Razz It's pretty hilarious.

I would post mine to make yours feel less lonely, but it's, like, 1.2k. Smile
avatar
Renée
Level 5
Level 5

Posts : 219
Join date : 2011-02-12
Age : 24
Location : Alaska

http://amanda-the-aspiring.blogspot.com

Back to top Go down

Re: Opening of my very first novel (for laughs)

Post  Taryn on Wed Apr 13, 2011 3:57 pm

OMG this is awesome! I totally want to do this now! When I get home from college, I'm unearthing my first novel from when I was 12. The earliest novel I have on this computer is #3 from age 14, so it's not too embarrassing. (Well, it is. But it's not cute-embarrassing like that.) Here are the first couple paragraphs:

If you’ve ever seen abstract paintings, you’ll know what I see when I run. If you’ve ever needed glasses badly, you’ll have a better idea. Some runners talk about seeing everything in extreme detail, but I see everything blurred. Colors brighten and intensify and details disappear. I see the stands and the people in them as a big brown blob – the colors all blended together for that effect. The track often brightens to a nearly fire truck red hue. If I see that shade, I know I’m working the race. Sometimes, to motivate myself, I can pretend that the track is red hot coals, burning my feet each step I take.

The grass in between turns into a brilliant green and it sometimes distracts me. When the world begins to fade back to its maudlin appearance, I know I have to refocus.

Like most runners, I hear nothing when I run but the pounding of my feet and the screaming pain of my muscles echoing in my brain.

LOL. Ohhh early efforts. At least they taught us well Smile
avatar
Taryn
Level 4
Level 4

Posts : 138
Join date : 2011-02-07
Age : 24
Location : Seattle / Lexington

http://tarynalbright.com

Back to top Go down

Re: Opening of my very first novel (for laughs)

Post  Constance on Wed Apr 13, 2011 4:06 pm

Hahahaha! I love it. Especially the "Now to get to the main character". Smile

Alas, I can't dig up my first writing attempts. They were done in notebooks that have either been buried in my trunk back at my mom's house or burned. Razz But it was definitely purple prosy.
avatar
Constance
Level 5
Level 5

Posts : 689
Join date : 2011-03-25
Age : 22
Location : Texas

Back to top Go down

Re: Opening of my very first novel (for laughs)

Post  Amanda on Wed Apr 13, 2011 4:37 pm

Aww! That's so cute! I wish I could find my first attempts. Well, I probably could, with some effort, but I have no time to rummage through my closet at the moment, lol. I remember that it started with a huge list of all the animals in my world, which involved all animals I found acceptable at the age of eight or nine. Then there was a huge list of all the cats in the family that was the focus of my novel, with a description of one or two mixed in, and how they were related, ect. That's about as far as I got.

So I felt incredibly ripped off when I read Warriors by Erin Hunter in 5th grade, and I decided there was no room in the market for another cat-society series, so I never endeavored to finish it. That was the last fantasy-type thing I wrote until 7th grade re-awoke my fantastical side. Smile
avatar
Amanda
Level 5
Level 5

Posts : 671
Join date : 2011-02-07
Age : 24
Location : Alaska

http://amanda-the-aspiring.blogspot.com/

Back to top Go down

Re: Opening of my very first novel (for laughs)

Post  Shahira on Wed Apr 13, 2011 7:35 pm

Lizzy this is SO awesome! I'm pretty sure you wrote better as a ten year old than I do now..haha. Thanks so much for sharing. Smile I never wrote stories growing up but when I look back at the poems I first wrote years ago are always fun to read. :]
avatar
Shahira
Level 5
Level 5

Posts : 456
Join date : 2011-02-07

Back to top Go down

Re: Opening of my very first novel (for laughs)

Post  Dragontamer on Wed Apr 13, 2011 7:50 pm

Lizzy your story is so cute! Very Happy And it's a good idea to post your first stories. All mine were on notebook paper and barely more than a page long, plus I don't know where they are. Smile

But I do remember writing a story about a girl who finds a horse, (I think it was a My Little Pony horse Embarassed ) which was quite a few pages long, but I don't think I ever ended up finishing it. Plus I don't think I'd be brave enough to show it to anyone. (I don't know where it is either Rolling Eyes )

@Taryn I really like your first paragraphs of your novel! You should post more, I'd like to read it. Smile
avatar
Dragontamer
Level 1
Level 1

Posts : 44
Join date : 2011-02-24
Age : 21

Back to top Go down

Re: Opening of my very first novel (for laughs)

Post  Maggie on Wed Apr 13, 2011 8:40 pm

Sarah wrote:LOL, this made me smile Very Happy. You know, for a ten year old this is pretty good! And even back then you still loved to name people Elisabeth haha. I love how you put her father (James Harold) in parenthesis next to it Smile. I wrote a short story when I was ten once too, I might dig it up now Smile

Haha, thank you! Yeah, see!? I've ALWAYS loved the name Elisabeth! (Note I spelled it with an S just like my middle name Wink )

You should TOTALLY dig it up! Very Happy

________________________________________
"If I fall asleep with a pen in my hand, don't remove it - I might be writing in my dreams." ~Terri Guillemets

--Maggie--
blog - twitter - facebook
[You must be registered and logged in to see this link.]
avatar
Maggie
Level 5
Level 5

Posts : 1802
Join date : 2011-01-29
Age : 23

http://writeonteens.blogspot.com

Back to top Go down

Re: Opening of my very first novel (for laughs)

Post  Maggie on Wed Apr 13, 2011 8:41 pm

Renee wrote:I count seven mentions of cherries. Very Happy Your "Now to get to the main character" cracked me up. It reminded me of an assignment I wrote with a very strong narrator voice where I said,

"I went to the casle. Did I ever menchen the casle? Well, there was a casle. Well enouph about the casle."

The assignment was on a picture book of Poinsettia the Pig, and we had to come up with an alternate ending. I made her story mostly consist of a dream of "Lolly Jolly Land", so I could have more creative freedom. Razz It's pretty hilarious.

I would post mine to make yours feel less lonely, but it's, like, 1.2k. Smile

LOL!

And again, LOL! What's a casle?? You should post it anyway! I'd so read it. xD

________________________________________
"If I fall asleep with a pen in my hand, don't remove it - I might be writing in my dreams." ~Terri Guillemets

--Maggie--
blog - twitter - facebook
[You must be registered and logged in to see this link.]
avatar
Maggie
Level 5
Level 5

Posts : 1802
Join date : 2011-01-29
Age : 23

http://writeonteens.blogspot.com

Back to top Go down

Re: Opening of my very first novel (for laughs)

Post  Maggie on Wed Apr 13, 2011 8:42 pm

Taryn wrote:OMG this is awesome! I totally want to do this now! When I get home from college, I'm unearthing my first novel from when I was 12. The earliest novel I have on this computer is #3 from age 14, so it's not too embarrassing. (Well, it is. But it's not cute-embarrassing like that.) Here are the first couple paragraphs:

If you’ve ever seen abstract paintings, you’ll know what I see when I run. If you’ve ever needed glasses badly, you’ll have a better idea. Some runners talk about seeing everything in extreme detail, but I see everything blurred. Colors brighten and intensify and details disappear. I see the stands and the people in them as a big brown blob – the colors all blended together for that effect. The track often brightens to a nearly fire truck red hue. If I see that shade, I know I’m working the race. Sometimes, to motivate myself, I can pretend that the track is red hot coals, burning my feet each step I take.

The grass in between turns into a brilliant green and it sometimes distracts me. When the world begins to fade back to its maudlin appearance, I know I have to refocus.

Like most runners, I hear nothing when I run but the pounding of my feet and the screaming pain of my muscles echoing in my brain.

LOL. Ohhh early efforts. At least they taught us well Smile

Oh LOL!! But you know, for a 12 year old and a first-time-novelist, this is really pretty good!! A heck of a lot better than mine, even if you did describe eyesight the whole time. xD LOL!!

________________________________________
"If I fall asleep with a pen in my hand, don't remove it - I might be writing in my dreams." ~Terri Guillemets

--Maggie--
blog - twitter - facebook
[You must be registered and logged in to see this link.]
avatar
Maggie
Level 5
Level 5

Posts : 1802
Join date : 2011-01-29
Age : 23

http://writeonteens.blogspot.com

Back to top Go down

Re: Opening of my very first novel (for laughs)

Post  Maggie on Wed Apr 13, 2011 8:42 pm

WriteSpinner wrote:Hahahaha! I love it. Especially the "Now to get to the main character". Smile

Alas, I can't dig up my first writing attempts. They were done in notebooks that have either been buried in my trunk back at my mom's house or burned. Razz But it was definitely purple prosy.

Hehe.

Oh no! LOL. I do have numerous staple-books with my own illustrations in colored pencil but those are all over the place in my special boxes, too, so yeah... I can relate to the loosing-of-old-writings. xD

________________________________________
"If I fall asleep with a pen in my hand, don't remove it - I might be writing in my dreams." ~Terri Guillemets

--Maggie--
blog - twitter - facebook
[You must be registered and logged in to see this link.]
avatar
Maggie
Level 5
Level 5

Posts : 1802
Join date : 2011-01-29
Age : 23

http://writeonteens.blogspot.com

Back to top Go down

Re: Opening of my very first novel (for laughs)

Post  Maggie on Wed Apr 13, 2011 8:44 pm

Amanda wrote:Aww! That's so cute! I wish I could find my first attempts. Well, I probably could, with some effort, but I have no time to rummage through my closet at the moment, lol. I remember that it started with a huge list of all the animals in my world, which involved all animals I found acceptable at the age of eight or nine. Then there was a huge list of all the cats in the family that was the focus of my novel, with a description of one or two mixed in, and how they were related, ect. That's about as far as I got.

So I felt incredibly ripped off when I read Warriors by Erin Hunter in 5th grade, and I decided there was no room in the market for another cat-society series, so I never endeavored to finish it. That was the last fantasy-type thing I wrote until 7th grade re-awoke my fantastical side. Smile

Haha, I love how everyone's first works are in their closet. xD I actually pulled this out of my closet to copy it and post it. It was literally dusty. xP But I have no clue where the original file is... this is just my final printed-out version I was so proud to hold.

LOL! I love that! That's hilarious. And I love how you were thinking ahead to the market, too.

________________________________________
"If I fall asleep with a pen in my hand, don't remove it - I might be writing in my dreams." ~Terri Guillemets

--Maggie--
blog - twitter - facebook
[You must be registered and logged in to see this link.]
avatar
Maggie
Level 5
Level 5

Posts : 1802
Join date : 2011-01-29
Age : 23

http://writeonteens.blogspot.com

Back to top Go down

Re: Opening of my very first novel (for laughs)

Post  Maggie on Wed Apr 13, 2011 8:45 pm

Shahira wrote:Lizzy this is SO awesome! I'm pretty sure you wrote better as a ten year old than I do now..haha. Thanks so much for sharing. Smile I never wrote stories growing up but when I look back at the poems I first wrote years ago are always fun to read. :]

LOL! Are you kidding me? Nooo way! I've read your work. xD Every time you talk about poetry I get jealous. That's just so romantic and cool! I'd love to say I was a poet. Oh well. I'll just stick to making characters who are poets. (I have. Razz )

________________________________________
"If I fall asleep with a pen in my hand, don't remove it - I might be writing in my dreams." ~Terri Guillemets

--Maggie--
blog - twitter - facebook
[You must be registered and logged in to see this link.]
avatar
Maggie
Level 5
Level 5

Posts : 1802
Join date : 2011-01-29
Age : 23

http://writeonteens.blogspot.com

Back to top Go down

Re: Opening of my very first novel (for laughs)

Post  Maggie on Wed Apr 13, 2011 8:46 pm

Dragontamer wrote:Lizzy your story is so cute! Very Happy And it's a good idea to post your first stories. All mine were on notebook paper and barely more than a page long, plus I don't know where they are. Smile

But I do remember writing a story about a girl who finds a horse, (I think it was a My Little Pony horse Embarassed ) which was quite a few pages long, but I don't think I ever ended up finishing it. Plus I don't think I'd be brave enough to show it to anyone. (I don't know where it is either Rolling Eyes )

@Taryn I really like your first paragraphs of your novel! You should post more, I'd like to read it. Smile

Haha, thanks. xD Again, everyone seems to have lost theirs! I was such a little *cough* geek? *cough* so I had mine on the computer from the start. :/ That's the only reason I still know where it is... or, why I have it, printed out.

Aww, that sounds so cute! I wrote horses into basically all of my stories because I love them. (Not Little Pony horses, exactly...hehe)

________________________________________
"If I fall asleep with a pen in my hand, don't remove it - I might be writing in my dreams." ~Terri Guillemets

--Maggie--
blog - twitter - facebook
[You must be registered and logged in to see this link.]
avatar
Maggie
Level 5
Level 5

Posts : 1802
Join date : 2011-01-29
Age : 23

http://writeonteens.blogspot.com

Back to top Go down

Re: Opening of my very first novel (for laughs)

Post  Sarah on Wed Apr 13, 2011 8:50 pm

Lizzy wrote:
Sarah wrote:LOL, this made me smile Very Happy. You know, for a ten year old this is pretty good! And even back then you still loved to name people Elisabeth haha. I love how you put her father (James Harold) in parenthesis next to it Smile. I wrote a short story when I was ten once too, I might dig it up now Smile

Haha, thank you! Yeah, see!? I've ALWAYS loved the name Elisabeth! (Note I spelled it with an S just like my middle name Wink )

You should TOTALLY dig it up! Very Happy

Elisabeth with an S is the best way to spell it! (haha, can you tell that's my middle name too?)

I soo want to! I even went through the entire house looking for it but my parents have it on a thumb drive thing and no one knows were it is. I'm now super upset and my parents are going to spend the next few days of their life looking for it... As soon as they get home from the trip their on Very Happy
avatar
Sarah
Level 5
Level 5

Posts : 905
Join date : 2011-02-07
Age : 21

Back to top Go down

Re: Opening of my very first novel (for laughs)

Post  Maggie on Wed Apr 13, 2011 8:59 pm

Haha, Elisabeth rocks. Wink

Oh no!! I'd be so upset too. LOL! The next few days of their lives. Seriously! These things are important.

________________________________________
"If I fall asleep with a pen in my hand, don't remove it - I might be writing in my dreams." ~Terri Guillemets

--Maggie--
blog - twitter - facebook
[You must be registered and logged in to see this link.]
avatar
Maggie
Level 5
Level 5

Posts : 1802
Join date : 2011-01-29
Age : 23

http://writeonteens.blogspot.com

Back to top Go down

Re: Opening of my very first novel (for laughs)

Post  Sarah on Wed Apr 13, 2011 9:06 pm

I know!! I'm soo depressed now Sad I just want my stories to be put back safely on my computer.
avatar
Sarah
Level 5
Level 5

Posts : 905
Join date : 2011-02-07
Age : 21

Back to top Go down

Re: Opening of my very first novel (for laughs)

Post  Maggie on Wed Apr 13, 2011 10:39 pm

LOL! I know the feeling. I hope it turns up!!

________________________________________
"If I fall asleep with a pen in my hand, don't remove it - I might be writing in my dreams." ~Terri Guillemets

--Maggie--
blog - twitter - facebook
[You must be registered and logged in to see this link.]
avatar
Maggie
Level 5
Level 5

Posts : 1802
Join date : 2011-01-29
Age : 23

http://writeonteens.blogspot.com

Back to top Go down

Re: Opening of my very first novel (for laughs)

Post  Sarah on Wed Apr 13, 2011 10:48 pm

Thanks Very Happy me too!
avatar
Sarah
Level 5
Level 5

Posts : 905
Join date : 2011-02-07
Age : 21

Back to top Go down

Re: Opening of my very first novel (for laughs)

Post  Shahira on Thu Apr 14, 2011 12:50 am

Lizzy wrote:
Shahira wrote:Lizzy this is SO awesome! I'm pretty sure you wrote better as a ten year old than I do now..haha. Thanks so much for sharing. Smile I never wrote stories growing up but when I look back at the poems I first wrote years ago are always fun to read. :]

LOL! Are you kidding me? Nooo way! I've read your work. xD Every time you talk about poetry I get jealous. That's just so romantic and cool! I'd love to say I was a poet. Oh well. I'll just stick to making characters who are poets. (I have. Razz )
Lol thanks for that. Smile &writing about poets is way cooler! Very Happy
avatar
Shahira
Level 5
Level 5

Posts : 456
Join date : 2011-02-07

Back to top Go down

Re: Opening of my very first novel (for laughs)

Post  Renée on Thu Apr 14, 2011 3:39 am

Lizzy wrote:LOL!

And again, LOL! What's a casle?? You should post it anyway! I'd so read it. xD
What do you think, should I put it in Writing Feedback? XD lol!

A "casle" is the second grade version of "castle". Very Happy There are some pretty funny misspellings in it.
avatar
Renée
Level 5
Level 5

Posts : 219
Join date : 2011-02-12
Age : 24
Location : Alaska

http://amanda-the-aspiring.blogspot.com

Back to top Go down

Re: Opening of my very first novel (for laughs)

Post  Maggie on Thu Apr 14, 2011 11:03 am

@Renee YES! It would be awesome! Very Happy

Ooohhhh that totally makes sense! LOL. How cute is that!?

________________________________________
"If I fall asleep with a pen in my hand, don't remove it - I might be writing in my dreams." ~Terri Guillemets

--Maggie--
blog - twitter - facebook
[You must be registered and logged in to see this link.]
avatar
Maggie
Level 5
Level 5

Posts : 1802
Join date : 2011-01-29
Age : 23

http://writeonteens.blogspot.com

Back to top Go down

Re: Opening of my very first novel (for laughs)

Post  Renée on Thu Apr 14, 2011 3:27 pm

@Lizzy -- I posted it. Very Happy
avatar
Renée
Level 5
Level 5

Posts : 219
Join date : 2011-02-12
Age : 24
Location : Alaska

http://amanda-the-aspiring.blogspot.com

Back to top Go down

Re: Opening of my very first novel (for laughs)

Post  Sponsored content


Sponsored content


Back to top Go down

View previous topic View next topic Back to top

- Similar topics

 
Permissions in this forum:
You cannot reply to topics in this forum